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COLUMN RELATIONSHIP GOALS

I first met Paul about 13 years ago during a business investment meeting. I had been an entrepreneur for 15 years and had put some money aside that I wanted to do something good with. The company was a drug intervention company (a start-up) that did impressive work. Paul sat at the table as an advisor, finished my sentences (unsolicited), and immediately removed my doubts. I was annoyed and intrigued at the same time.

I decided to invest.

In a follow-up conversation, I asked Paul to review my own (travel) website. To which he simply said: I don’t understand a damn thing about what you do. That could be better! He had ideas, but I was reluctant. Something in my head kept telling me: “Don’t mess up my website” haha.

After a year of deliberations, I finally gave in. I moved forward on his business ideas and changed the brand’s communication. It worked out well, especially the global marketing campaigns based on our renewed positioning.

I remember the “Be Like Iris” online campaign inspired by Iris Apfel.

After some weeks, it went viral, and people worldwide were wearing large black “Iris Apfel-inspired” sunglasses provided by my company. What a fun and creative way to promote our brand!

 

More is More & Less is a Bore.

– Iris Apfel

So, we had taken the step of being able to work together. But would our by then romantic relationship survive?

Let me tell you, establishing a relationship in private life and working closely together is challenging. I am more result-driven. Paul is into strategy, thinking about a brand and positioning. He enjoys the process. We created a winning team by carefully combining our characters. This combined force is something our friends and clients profit from.

In our personal lives, we had the audacity to accept each other’s perceived flaws—not a natural talent for us. We are proud and often stubborn. But our life together brought so many small, important moments of joy that it would be silly to waste it all.

So, every day, we ask each other: “What can I do for you? What do you need? There’s nothing high-brow about this; it is simple and effective. And much needed.

Let me give you an example: Currently, we are selling our family home in Amsterdam, and of course, we have different opinions about planning, pricing, and promotion. To avoid quarrelling daily about the small stuff, we came up with the harmony sign “onward forward,” a tacky way to avoid discussion and create synergy. Believe me, it works. It’s like a time-out in Basketball. It makes us smile every time one of us does it and immediately relieves us from any discussions we otherwise could have.

My old Israeli boss Zvi always said: slowly, slowly, you learn. And he is right.